I came across this powerful exhortation in Mitch Albom's wonderful book, Tuesdays With Morrie.
There is a dire need for all of us to create our own culture, our own way of living. All of us are in danger of losing our identities, our true selves. Why?
Because there is always pressure to "be like the crowd", "to be one of `em", to be cool etc, etc. In my training sessions with young people, I often suggest that they retain their true identities, rather than discard these and become a non distinct person. Being one amongst many is better than being many without being one.
In this age of overwhelming mass media and popular culture, and of course peer pressure, individuality is slowly being lost, with many individuals being unaware. Notice that I reiterate the word `being'. People have ceased being significant; they are merging with the crowds. Once again, we are harking back to the tribal ages!
Hence, I was so gratified that during one of my workshops, a student, in response to my question about what was his strength, said that he enjoyed `being' himself'.
May there be more of such individuals.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Teenagers Just Need Love
Having been involved in training thousands of young people, I have come to the conclusion that for all the suggested therapies, counselling and `quick fixes' recommended, there is only one remedy - love.
Many parents often forget that whilst teenagers behave like young adults, they are, deep within, still children. Not in a childish sense, but in need of parental affirmation and support. No psychotherapist, top notch psychologist or self help guru will ever be able to replace the love that a parent gives. Just mere words will be able to soothe those wounded egos; and a hug will lift any teenager from the depths of despair. Only parents can provide the emotional sustenance that a teenager craves.
Yet many parents fail to see that mere simple acts on our part can form the best preventive medicine against any psychological damage that might befall our beloved children. In this day and age, many of our young people are crying out to be heard and understood, to be touched; yet many parents have to their own peril ignored these cries for attention.
Yes, the behaviour of teenagers can be difficult to comprehend. But then again, the universe itself is almost impossible to fathom, yet we marvel at it. What more our children?
I am, unabashedly, a staunch believer that our teenagers should be tangibly loved; a touch, a kind word will remove all barriers to understanding our teens.
If you are a parent to teenage children, remember, they still need your love. And to all teenagers, never be shy about demanding your emotional sustenance.
Many parents often forget that whilst teenagers behave like young adults, they are, deep within, still children. Not in a childish sense, but in need of parental affirmation and support. No psychotherapist, top notch psychologist or self help guru will ever be able to replace the love that a parent gives. Just mere words will be able to soothe those wounded egos; and a hug will lift any teenager from the depths of despair. Only parents can provide the emotional sustenance that a teenager craves.
Yet many parents fail to see that mere simple acts on our part can form the best preventive medicine against any psychological damage that might befall our beloved children. In this day and age, many of our young people are crying out to be heard and understood, to be touched; yet many parents have to their own peril ignored these cries for attention.
Yes, the behaviour of teenagers can be difficult to comprehend. But then again, the universe itself is almost impossible to fathom, yet we marvel at it. What more our children?
I am, unabashedly, a staunch believer that our teenagers should be tangibly loved; a touch, a kind word will remove all barriers to understanding our teens.
If you are a parent to teenage children, remember, they still need your love. And to all teenagers, never be shy about demanding your emotional sustenance.
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